I’m not okay

my mind tumbles

thought over thought

vivid memories flash

like daggers

there is no escape

no rhyme or reason

life like

lifeless

and yet piercing

unforgettable

torturing me

taunting me

make it stop

rewind time

it’s not okay

I’m not okay

nor will I ever be again

Renata Scola Oct 6, 2020

snow

snow

so white and pure

falling in the cold

cover me in numbness

when did I get so old

angels wearing halos

glitter in the night

breathing in their softness

making all things right

covering the frozen ground

the whole world seems to fade

snow my beautiful friend

correct the wrongs I’ve made

it calls to me lovingly

erasing all my pain

filling me to bursting

only emptiness remains

something else taken away

something that was so dear

so sweet, so kind and gentle

leaving us nothing to do but grieve…

Renata Scola

May 19, 2019

My sweet little one Jollee 😢

The sun is setting yet again

Another day come and gone

They’re all the same

Without you here

Nighttime offers no relief

Dreams are wild and dark

Missing you

Doesn’t  get easier

A telephone ringing

A knock on the door

Don’t matter anymore

It can’t be you

Remember the bad times

Cherish the good

Hold on to them all

They must last a lifetime now

You, with your unfaltering wit

That sly smile

Always inviting and caring

No matter what

You wore bravery like armour

Grace like sunshine

Love beamed from you

And your lovely modesty

There never was

Nor will there ever be

Another like you

We are blessed to mourn you

As we were blessed to love you

To have known you

To have made you proud

And in your memory we will continue…

Words can not express

The utter loneliness

The void you left

It’s beyond everything

Renata Scola

May 5, 2019

 

Loss

there are no words…

Renata Scola

April 20, 2019

In memory of my mom Italina

breathe

inhale, exhale

slowly count to ten

inhale, exhale

just do it again and again

inhale

chemicals in my brain

exhale

don’t go insane

inhale, exhale

rushing blood within

inhale, exhale

never going to win

inhale

good goddamn that’s fine

exhale

this whole world is mine

inhale, exhale

never want to stop

inhale, exhale

but i feel my heart just…drop

Renata Scola

February 11, 2019

Sorrow

It’s like all those days when it’s too cold to snow

Renata Scola

January 19, 2019

Life

That which doesn’t kill you makes you bitter.

Renata Scola

January 6, 2019

Mary

What was brought down upon me

Be returned but times three

Head to toe, skin and nerve

May you get exactly what you deserve.

dreams

where a house

is a home

I am not

alone

Kitty lives

and plays

on endless

summer days

my baby

in tow

everywhere

I go

visions

I trust

never want to wake

but I must…

Renata Scola

Sept 15, 2018